Your Dystopian Future - 3 Reasons Why You Need a Bunker

Your world will inevitably end, just like mine will one day. Being aware of this fact, having an overactive imagination and a propensity to procrastinate I have developed an idea of a rather dystopian future that our generation might have to live through when we're just about ready to enjoy our retirement funds.
In simple English, I think about how the world is going to go to shits. I enjoy small luxuries like listening to Dubstep, enjoying clean drinkable water, not being possessed by an insatiable need to eat other peoples' brains and limiting my exposure to ionizing radiation.
All this makes me think about how I need to start saving up for a bunker.
Yes, you read right, a bunker. You should consider building towards one as well because I might not let you stay in mine. I'm going to give you a glimpse into the mind of a pioneering genius, yes that's me, and the reasons why I think we might inevitably require one.


3. Zombie Apocalypse

There are different types of zombie apocalypse causes. A few include getting nasty neurotoxins injected into your brain, infection from a brain virus or a slight problem with fungi that controls your brain.

It would be common sense to stay as far away from the zombies as possible because you might get whatever they have. I don't think that being sprayed by chunks of rotten flesh, as you fight them off, would do you any good. Zombies would eventually die out once their food source disappeared. Staying in a bunker means you likely won't have to shoot your zombified best friend's face in or use a flame-thrower on your mom while she's wearing her flannel pj's because they will be in a bunker with you. When I suggest a bunker to hide in while all the zombies die in you shouldn't say, "Oh please! I'm going to fight them like a man! Grrrrr!", you should say, "Hell yeah! Do you think we'll get DSTV down there? When can we go pretend that we're Will Smith in I Am Legend?"

2. Mother Nature

Mother Nature hates us. Here are a few reasons why I say this:

• Moose in the USA attempt to hijack cars by conducting windshield smashes
• Baboons in South Africa succeed in hijacking cars by opening car doors
• Spiders
• 1% of the world's water can be used for human uses
• Lions and Cheetahs are allowed to roam the streets in South Africa and terrorize a specific specie of blue Bulls
• The ice on Mount Kilimanjaro is melting at a rate fast enough that I'll never be able to summit the mountain in time to see the ice. The ice will be gone by 2020, yes I'm kind of lazy.   

So we've established that Mother Nature hates us. Add on the fact that we pump toxins into rivers, dump sewerage into the oceans, let our trash collect in whirlpools and pump carbon dioxide and methane into the atmosphere and we're looking at a case of young Gohan vs Frieza, we all know that Goku had to step in finally defeat Frieza. It was never Gohan.

This is Mother Nature.

We're young Gohan and we're going to get the shit kicked out of our snotty little nose. You see the Earth has been around a lot longer than you and I and it will remain after we're buried somewhere in it or burnt to make more carbon dioxide. So when the Earth goes anal and normal weather is hurricanes and drought then you know you're going be a refugee on your own planet. As usual when resources like food and water run out then people become kind of grumpy. There will be anarchy, fire and people throwing bricks (because they always throw bricks) and you wonder what will I be doing?

Yes, I'll have one in my bunker.

The water thing is important because we like polluting it and for some stupid reason we can't really drink salty water so that eliminates 99% of our water sources. There's a guy in Texas who is buying water. He's a smart ass. I dig it, I will follow suit. I can picture humanity fighting over water. I mean it happens in The Wheel of Time with the Aiel people and that book is based on real-life events.
I'm talking total crap about The Wheel of Time but when 99.99999999999% of the world's population die out a fictional book could become a future historian's reference book.

1. Artificial Intelligence and Information
Perhaps I watched Terminator far too many times and Hal 9000 scared me senseless but I worry about things like artificial intelligence and building robots for robotic warfare.

ASIMO would be the first to crack.

Effectively all it takes is for one system to spaz out and become self-aware because we thought artificial intelligence would be a marvellous thing to program. I don't think you'd be smiling much if your top-of-the-range electrical vehicle tried to run you over while you were enjoying your morning shower. Then we have things like Google, and Google pretty much owns the Internet. They buy up dark fibre (kilometres of cable left unused after the initial Internet bubble), map the stars, enable cars to drive by themselves, own this blog, know where I live, what I look like... Wait! Help! They've found me hffrrrrrrsdfjaaaaeffffespfffffff.

So picture all that intelligence and a self-aware system and we're screwed. I don't know if military systems will be able to contain the threat and the very weapons we built to destroy each other will destroy us all. Life expectancy could drop from 80 to 10 and you're 25. Boom! Dead. Well I'll be chilling in my bunker.
I'll discuss optimal bunker placement with you in person. I have a feeling I'm being watched.

That's it! 

Do you feel enlightened? 

Are you going to save up for your bunker like you're living during the Cold War?

Yes?

My work here is done.

Kindle Joy!

The Amazon Kindle is a series of e-books. E-books, as the name suggests are electronic books. Essentially a Kindle can store a small library of books on its memory and it comes with an e-ink electronic display so that it doesn't hurt your eyes when you're reading it. In fact, you have to use a book light for the Kindle because it doesn't have a back-light, well you can either do that or wait for generation 5 of the Kindle as it will come with a built-in book light. You can read your e-books and download them off the internet by purchasing them off the Amazon book store. It's so convenient and it fuels a reading addiction.

I have massive amounts of love for my Kindle Touch. I think it's the best thing I have ever bought because it has all my books in it. It reminded me that I love to read. I suggest you translate what I wrote on the picture I made. It's an old advert for Kinder Joy, it's appropriate because I named my Kindle, Kindle Joy!


For more information on the Kindle, click here

Who Needs a Doctor When You Have Music?

Video of the week (well besides "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys, click here):

Favourite quote from the video was said by the man below. He said:
"It [Music] gives me the feeling of love, romance! I figure right now the world needs to come into music, singing. You've got beautiful music. Beautiful... Lovely... I feel [a] band of love, of dreams."