Dress up like Deadmau5!

Deadmau5 is pronounced "Dead-mouse" not "Dead-maw-5" or "Dead-mauf". He's finally in South Africa and it looks like he's enjoying Cape Town right now, where he is performing tomorrow. I go to Deadmau5 this Saturday! 

I've been so excited for the longest time that he's coming and hearing him on 5FM yesterday was so cool. I've never heard Fresh gush so much on the radio. As the concert draws nearer I've started to consider what I could wear. I should have actually used my engineering skills to build a mask but now it's too late. I do know for a fact that I will wear wedges because they are in fashion and also because they give me a height advantage. I don't care that it's H2O I'm going to. I want to be tall, or taller. I was so angry, incredibly angry, at the Coldplay concert because I couldn't see properly as I had these three extremely tall boys in front of me. At least I have the shoes aspect of my outfit sorted.

This article is actually dedicated to Deadmau5 costumes. Some are fails, as in, “Really?! Bet your face looks more like Deadmau5 then that costume does.” Others are alright but note, there is only one Deadmau5.

Fail Costumes

1.

Courtesy of Bethany (click here)

He has a nose? You blacked out everything except the nose? Why? Only in Vegas.

2. 

Courtesy of Gerry (click here)

Yeah... As for this guy? It's late for you! Don't why you bothered.

Okay Costumes

1.

Courtesy of Costume-Works.com (click here)

You can see that he tried. Proportions are a bit out. The lighting is amazing though.

Courtesy of Coolest-Handmade-Costumes.com (click here)

I can see the masking tape... But alright attempt.

Good

1.

Courtesy of Costume-Works.com (click here)

The fact that he sat in class with it makes him even more bau5!

Many imitations but there is only one Deadmau5

Courtesy of Drew Ressler (click here)

and the inside looks like

Courtesy of Joel Zimmerman a.k.a. Deadmau5 (Lol at the watermark)

This costume literally makes me want to get into his head. There's so much tech in there! 
If you're going to the concert too, then I hope you have a blast! I know it's going to be insane!

Reasons Why I Probably Should Have Moved To Cape Town

Cape Town, Photo courtesy of a_glitch

4. I probably wouldn't have failed
This was a big reason why I decided to stay here. I somehow got it into my head that if I moved to UCT (University of Cape Town) I would spend all my time at the beach and/or partying and would thus fail right out of varsity. In retrospect this was a stupid reason. Firstly, I hate the beach, so why would I go there? The partying thing is true. However, when I look back at how I behaved in first year, I've come to the realisation that I would have done alright. I have a lot of self-control (sometimes). I also realised that I have a friend down there who wouldn't have let me fail because he works so hard.

Perhaps the biggest fail of my life

3. The guys
Cape Town guys > Pretoria guys.

2. Music and Partying
With the exception of Griet, !Arcade Empire, Town Hall and Hotbox Studio events I often find myself bored. Pretoria sucks for partying. How many house parties do you have to have because there is nowhere to go? Don't let anyone fool you about the Square being awesome! It's good the first 10 times you're there then it's this horrible monotony. Same friends there, same music, same drink orders, same level of drunkness, same weirdos and watching the same characters puking their guts into the dustbins. Going to Joburg all the time isn't feasible either. According to my Cape Town friends I would have had a variety of places I could have partied at. 

The Square is Rubbish!

I also miss out on festivals like Synergy and Rocking the Daisies. We only have Oppikoppi and random, completely random, festivals here. Sure Oppi was good but I miss out on two because of my location? Cape Town has produced artists and DJs like Audiophile 021, Niskerone, HAEZER, Sibot, Sedge Warbler, Tommy Gun, Hyphen, P.H. Fat and Liver. Sure we have Double-Adapter, Crossman and Phizicist, Twelv & Thesis, Doctor Khumalo, Tumi and the Volume...
Yeah... We're lacking.

Tommy Gun at Oppikoppi 2011

1.2. I don't actually fit in here sometimes (I don't dress like I'm from here)
I've heard this phrase about 14 times from different friends, "Ah, I don't know what you're doing here. You have such a Cape Town dress sense." I haven't ever really thought of defining my style. I dress like how I want to, whether it's a floral print dress with heels and feather earrings or skinny jeans, doc martens and a cropped top. I take pride in my appearance and even at uni this misunderstood. I've been labelled "Barbie" because I don't like wearing clothes for the sake of. 

1.1. I don't actually fit in here sometimes (In terms of language and culture)
This one is hard. I've been called a "Coconut" countless times here. My parents are foreign, both of them from different countries, so I grew up in an English home to accomodate both of them. I even have a weird accent because that's how my parents talk and that's how I grew up. I went to private schools while growing up and because of my schools I was blinded against seeing race. In Crawford College, where I went to high school I saw so many inter-racial couples, even inter-cultural couples (like a Jewish guy and a Muslim girl dating). Getting to varsity here and being told things like "Jungle Fever" exist was quite a shock to me. 
I find myself sometimes stuck between an Afrikaans and black place. Sometimes I ask myself, "What am I doing here?" when I'm with my friends and they are talking Afrikaans or we're at an Afrikaans gig. 


Then on the other side, when I'm not being judged because of my choice of friends, all black people assume I speak Sotho, Zulu, Xhosa or Sepedi. 
I don't. 
I speak English. 
So when I go into shops and I say, "Hello, how are you today? Can you help me find taco shells?" Is it to much to hear what I sound like and reply in English? Instead of: "Akwi aisle numba7 jikela ngasesinxeleni/ngakwaLeft"? I either awkwardly nod or have to say that, "Sorry I don't speak zulu" to which they either help me in English or become offended that I don't understand the language. 

Sad coconuty person

Argh, tired of here! I just want to go somewhere where it isn't like here. I get judged while I'm here, I don't want that anymore. 
There are some awesome things that happened because I stayed but right now I couldn't be bothered to try and remember them. I'm having the Cape Town blues. So when I come that side next year I might just decide not to come back and it comes across as a joke now but... yeah... we'll see ;)

Review: Vovo Telo

Vovo Telo, Lynnwood

Where: Lynnwood Bridge Shopping Centre, Lynnwood Road, Pretoria


Contact: 012 348 0890


Opening times:
Monday - Friday: 07h00 - 19h00
Saturday & Sunday: 08h00 - 17h00


Price range: 
R30 - R80


Good for: Coffee dates

Vovo Telo is a special place. I was introduced to it by a friend who wanted to purchase the pencils that are sold at the cafe. Vovo Telo sell pencils and t-shirts branded with their logo and interesting one-liners. I recall one of the pencils had this: "I will have my cake and eat it". I thought that was clever and would have paid more attention to the rest of the pencils and the t-shirts on display but I was extremely distracted. I was distracted by the bakery. I just saw dozens of pastries and fresh breads then I completely zoned out. 


When you walk into Vovo Telo you will immediately notice how amazing the place smells. It's all the baked goods of course. When you eventually snap out of it and have a look around you will observe how Vovo Telo seamlessly creates a relaxed and artsy vibe. Vovo Telo has paint stripped tables and art pieces all over the place to assist in that sense. 


They kind of apply the same artisan appearance to the food as well, as you will see below. I ordered a Chicken Pecorino on Panini bread (R29) and a Bos Ice Tea (R16). I have also on different occasions ordered a Tiramisu slice of cake, a little Lemon Meringue Tart (R10) and some almond cake with a French name. I will continue to recommend this place because I actually dislike most meringues and tiramisu, however, when I tasted both of them I actually smiled because they are so good. If you go there are lunch time they also have their popular thin crust pizzas on offer, so I suggest you try that. 


Now have a look at the food: 

Chicken Pecorino on Panini Bread

Tiramisu

Lemon Meringue and [Insert French Name]

Overall service was okay, not great. I found the waiter took a bit long with things. Maybe that was because I sat outside, I don't know. 
I do find it a bit weird that a place like this is actually a set of different branches. I often find restaurants lose their ability to charm people with their food when they cater for many. It's that whole franchise-disgusting food thing (like Cappuccino's!) Vovo Telo has a branch in Johannesburg, two in Port Elizabeth and they are opening one in Parkhurst soon. So I do suggest you check them out if you cannot come to the Pretoria Branch. To find out the exact location of the other branches I suggest you check out their website (click here).


Do yourself a favour and visit Vovo Telo!

Happy Birthday Bitches (Griet's 3rd Birthday)!

I love to party. I love Griet, an event and artist management company that operates in South Africa. I also love Griet parties. My love for Griet parties stems from numerous events they have assisted in, Grietfest and the I <* Halloween Converse Block Party so when I heard that Griet was turning 3 I knew I was in for a treat because this party would either match or surpass it’s predecessors because they were hosting it with Dont Party. When Griet made their birthday announcement on twitter (follow griet_sa) I made sure that I was going to be available to head to !Arcade Empire on the 25^th of November. I subsequently missed out on two 21sts and a possible trip to Cape Town but I knew I had to be here for this party.

Birthdays are always something I’ve looked forward to celebrating. I enjoy getting presents I actually like and even when I was a kid I had an unusual fondness of birthday parties (something to do with deflating jumping castles and candles). For me birthday parties have evolved from celebrations that consisted of sugar drunkness, clowns, party tricks, and toys to drinking until you forget your age, loud music and partying until the early hours of the morning. If you’re unlucky and nobody loves you enough to party with you then you’ll get a birthday meal. Now because Griet ranks high up on the list of awesome things* they managed to combine the fun birthday things and even threw in a few meal stands to get your dinner if you really wanted one.

Try visualise with me, even though your imagination will not come close to what I saw. Griet turned !Arcade Empire’s huge tree-covered, gravel stoned parking lot into a carnival scene that had a wicked atmosphere. You were immediately aware that shit was going to go down when you saw the huge luminescent clown welcoming board.

Now Grietland itself was amazing but let me get started on the music. I arrived at 10pm, so at that point I had missed Oliver Twisted and Liver’s first set. I walked in on Yesterday’s Pupil while he was amping the crowds. He has a weird sound. I can’t really describe it, but he really is something to watch, especially when you realise that he sings all of the songs himself.  Then Liver came on and things started to get crazy. He is remarkable at what he does and the beats were insane. His set was really good and had a lot of stuff I didn’t recognise so it’s good that he’s producing new stuff. I just think he should come do more sets here in Gauteng and ditch Cape Town. When DirtyLoud took over from Liver I thought the crowd was maxing on the crazy levels. I was wrong, and I was also in the front. I believe I got punched in the kidney and the term “electro moshing" is appropriate to describe what was going on. I have never had to fight so hard to stay in the front, but I enjoyed every second of it. At that moment I understood why there was an ambulance outside the venue. 

F.O.O.L smashed it up straight afterward and at this point I was dancing a safer distance away. I stayed for a bit of RudeOne and then had to call it a night. I went home exhausted, exhilarated and sore. It was quite an evening, quite a wild, dream-like evening. If you're reading this article and smiling then I know that you know the madness I am writing about else you should be drowning in this deep pit of regret. The point of this story kids, "Don't fucking miss Griet parties."

*Other things on this list include passing a module you thought you were going to fail and hearing an intense break in an electro song (one that is so epic it makes you smile).

Dirtyloud (Brazil)

F.O.O.L (Sweden)

Black Tuesday

#Black Tuesday


Sad day for South African democracy. 

Things I Used To Believe When I Was A Kid (Part 1)

I was quite an eccentric child back in the day. I honestly don’t know where I got some of the ideas I did. It must have been a combination of an overactive imagination and watching strange things on TV. Here are three of the most peculiar things I used to believe:

1. The moon followed me and I was special enough for it to follow.

At night, I was convinced that the moon followed me wherever I went. This belief often struck me when I was in the car with my brother. We used to duck down in our seats, pretending that the moon couldn’t see us, and then pop up suddenly to shout, “Look, it found us again!”

We were young, okay? For some reason, I genuinely thought the moon chose to follow me and me alone. I never considered that it might also follow anyone else.

2. I was important enough to change the alphabet and its structure (and I believed that toys are the ultimate declaration of love).

I actually wrote a love letter when I was in preschool. If you look at the first letter of my name, the “Y” at the bottom of the page, you’ll notice something strange. The heart I drew isn’t the key detail here -it’s the orientation of the “Y.”

I flipped my “Y” horizontally on purpose. Why? Because it almost looked like a “K,” the first letter of the name of the boy I liked. I knew exactly what I was doing when I wrote it like that. I thought it was clever, and to be honest, I really liked him.

Sadly, I think this creative decision resulted in some poor marks at preschool. As for the Power Rangers toy he gave me? Long gone.

3. Whenever my mom switched off the lights then ghosts, demons, Chuckie and ninjas would pop out of the ceiling and ground.

I think most kids who are afraid of the dark have some version of this belief. I, however, had a very specific fear: Chuckie. This terror came from watching only ten minutes of Child’s Play -right up to the part where he throws the girl’s mom out of the window.

For a long time, I stayed quiet about what scared me. I would lie in the dark, my imagination running wild as I pictured all kinds of horrors around me. The second I thought my mom was in her bedroom, I would make the fastest dash known to humankind to reach the light switch. My eyes were usually closed during these sprints, and as you can imagine, this led to a few painful collisions.

One day, I finally plucked up the courage to tell my mom why I was so afraid of the dark. She listened, understood, and assured me that I would eventually get over it. I even drew a picture of one of the creatures for her.

Her solution was brilliant in its simplicity. She handed me a cooking stick and said, “If you see them, beat them away.”

And you know what? It worked. 

For reference, the creature I was afraid of came from Dexter’s Laboratory. It wasn’t the creepy episode where the fish died. It was from the G.I.R.L Squad episode, where Dee Dee and her friends try to fight crime in their neighborhood and end up making a mess. There was this shadowy figure they followed for the entire episode, and that was the creature that haunted me.

Drop The Bass

I made this picture to represent how dubstep makes me feel. It's random, colourful and beautiful in it's own way. Some of it's conventionally beautiful like the aspect of remixing popular songs. Other sections are clean breaks from all that we know. Dubstep has texture, range, smooth vocals and hard beats. It's mind-blowing. 


The last thing you should note is that I used song lyrics to represent dropping the bass. 


My favourite electro (mostly dubstep) tracks at the moment are: 


Funky Chicken - Liver


Earthquake - Labrinth feat. Tinie Tempah (Noisia Remix)


I Can't Stop - Flux Pavilion


Whisper - Liver


It's Me - Aqaudrop


You Need Me, I Don't Need You (Gemini Remix) - Ed Sheeran


Got To Know (Squnto Remix) - Flux Pavilion 


Lights (Wired Dubstep Remix) - Ellie Goulding 


Eastern Jam - Chase & Status


Time - Chase & Status


Imperial March - Dirt Monkey


Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites - Skrillex 


It's Not Our Fault - HAEZER


James Bond - HAEZER


Go check them out on youtube, soundcloud or beatport. 

Griet and Dont Party Present Dirtyloud (Brazil) and F.O.O.L (Sweden)

Done by Doktrine

When: 

25th of November (It's a Friday and leaves you with Saturday to party elsewhere (perhaps here) or two days to recover from a hangover)

Where:

Arcade Empire, Corner Hans Strydom and the N4, Pretoria (I just know that if you're coming down Hans Strydom from the Menlyn side then you're going to go past a Cape Town Fish Market. That's not much help but I suck at directions).

- Griet map for the event (here)
- If you're coming from Joburg then your best mode of transport is the Hotbox Express. I've been on it once and it was so cool! It's very easy to make friends from the ride and you get even more amped for the party. Check it out here.

Cost: 

- R60 online (here) from Tuesday 15th of November until Sunday 20th of November

- R80 online (here) from Monday 21st of November and at the door

- R150 VIP (limited tickets)

More info:

- email: johan@griet.co.za
- Facebook event: https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=117030628408523

- Info from Griet's website: 

http://www.griet.co.za/main/events/show/145

Who's playing: 

- Dirtyloud (From Brazil)

- F.O.O.L (From Sweden)

- Yesterday's Pupil

- RudeOne

- Liver

- Oliver Twisted

Griet have a reputation as being one of the most badass artist and event management companies in the Pretoria, Johannesburg and Cape Town regions. With artists like Double-Adapter, HAEZER, Yesterday's Pupil and Kidofdoom under their belt it's difficult to expect anything other than epic parties from them and that's precisely my experience of Griet this year. I can tell you that I waited an entire year for Griet Halloween Party 2011 because I missed last year's one. You will experience massive amounts of regret and fomo if you miss this event. It's epic that they are celebrating their birthday in this fashion and the coupling with Dont Party is going to be insane. Dont Party push the boundaries in terms of getting international and local talent under one roof for us to enjoy. 

Reason why I want to go:

I really want to check out the internationals Dirtyloud and F.O.O.L! Their music sounds incredible! I also think Liver is amazing, no, he's actually incredible. 

Liver with Niskerone at the end of his set at Oppikoppi 2011

I heard Oliver Twisted at the DOGBOX Foam Party earlier on this year and from what I can remember from that night (which isn't much) he's good too. I've heard about the other artists from friends, they're all good. So the line-up is going to smash things up! That's reason enough to go but then Griet did something else...

Their 3rd birthday party is based around a carnival theme. It's called Grietland. We can expect carnival activities, tons of free stuff and the Dont Party Mega Treasure Hunt. 

I've already got a partner and we're going to try find that Golden Ticket before any of you do. The Golden Ticket will allow us free entrance at any Griet or Dont Party event during 2012. 

The number of parties in 2012 is directly proportional to the closeness of the world ending so that's going to be a ton of parties that we could go to.

Then the naked guy might be around. Look out for him on stage.

Soda Chronicles: Help! Someone is going to drink me!

(Rage Cartoon at the bottom)

"Hokey!" I shouted. "Can’t you do anything right? I told you to use your cell phone while we were standing at the gas station so it could blow up. But what does Miss Oh I don’t want to listen to Dragona’s plans do? She buys a plastic phone because she doesn’t want her precious cell phone to get blasted."

Hokey and I stood outside the gas station. Once again, she had ruined my brilliant plans. I threw my hands up in frustration. "You’re starting to sound like Mama with all this ‘save the world’ nonsense. Honestly, it’s like you got all the good genes or something. Either do it right or stay home next time, okay?"

I took a deep breath and snapped my fingers. Flames burst from my hair, racing to meet the dormant gas pumps. An instant later, the station erupted in a flash explosion. "See?" I said, a smile creeping across my face. "That is how you get rid of a gas station."

Hokey stared at the inferno for a moment before nodding. I couldn’t help but worry about her. She never seemed to share my enthusiasm for chaos, which I found odd since we were twins.

Work done for the day, we started our walk home. The streets were alive with the usual bizarre sights: aberrant aspics, beery beggars, cloned cavies, desultory desserts, edible elms, feisty fruit, ghetto gentlemen, hoity toity hookworms, incendiary ivory tusks, jugular jokers, kittenish knuckleheads, lively lasses, messy messengers, Norwegian noodles, optimistic orangutans, peevish pewits, queen sized quinches, rowdy ravers, sleazy sheriffs, trendy teachers, unconvincing ulcers, venerable vampires, wise waffles, youthful yogis and zany zebras.

They were all waiting in line for the vaccination against the latest disease I had invented. I called it the Soda Turner Infection, or STI. The line stretched as far as I could see, probably all the way around the world. I couldn’t understand why they were so afraid of turning into soda. Personally, I thought it was a great outcome. More soda to drink! I just hoped most of them would turn into grape soda.

"Have you had your vaccination?" Hokey asked in a croaky voice.

"Why would I need it?" I scoffed. "I’m Dragona, creator of chaos. No infection would dare touch me without facing the consequences."

Hokey didn’t say another word.

A warm breeze brushed across my afro, and suddenly I felt a chill snake through my body.

"It’s freezing!" I shouted, shivering as goosebumps spread up and down my arms. I started running for home. Hokey just shook her head and followed. She already knew what was happening to me.

I sprinted into my room, dove into bed, and grabbed one of Mama’s heat potions. I emptied it over my head, desperate for warmth. "Hokey, what are you doing? Why are you getting into the cupboard?" My teeth chattered so loudly I could barely hear myself speak.

Hokey didn’t answer. She climbed into her spider cupboard and shut the door behind her.

The next moments became a blur. The warmth never came, and my skin began to tingle. I remember reaching for the blankets, but it was too late.

Do you remember me? I’m Dragona, the poisonous orange soda. You might recall me from my last story, the one where I was turning into a soda.

This is the end for me. It’s only been three minutes since I turned into this cursed drink, but I think Mama is getting thirsty. And Hokey, my dear twin sister, is twirling her hair, her gaze lingering on me in a way that makes my insides fizz with panic.

I might have mere nanoseconds or five hours left to live. Oh, the agony. Why did my own invention betray me? Why would the Soda Turner Infection turn on its creator?

There are too many questions and not enough answers.

MAMA IS REACHING FOR ME!

HELP!