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| F*** that penguin! |
You do know that movie right?
The one with that dancing penguin?
Yes, I hate that movie.
There is no amount of sugar-coated coaxing or reasonable logic that will make me even remotely okay with it and that penguin. I thought the movie was a waste of my life. I'll try and explain why Happy Feet angered me so much.
The plot is about a penguin that is born to the best penguin singers and it can't sing but it can dance. It gets all the other penguins to dance and humans realise that global warming is a problem. The end. It's like Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer all over again except that the world doesn't get presents and there's fish!
Things I hated about Happy Feet:
- Why couldn't the penguin sing like everyone else? One of the main themes of the movie is that it's good to be different but in this case it made me angry because I had to endure stupid dancing.
- Why did they have to tap dance?
- Why didn't the scary animals trying to eat that penguin succeed?
- Why was that movie so long?
- Why did I stay and waste my life for it?
I compiled a list of things I should have done instead of watching it:
- I could have done a running-hug, slipped and broken my ankle
- Gone to the gynecologist
- Given myself paper cuts between my fingers and toes (Jackass Style)
- Watched Verimark adverts
- Rolled myself down a grassy hill and itched later
- Gone to Antarctica and massacred all the penguins
Happy Feet cost me dearly. Not only did it cost me bits of my life, as we have discussed, but it made me extremely wary of animations. This was something only the movie Up could restore in some manner. It took this scene from Up to make it okay to occasionally watch animations without penguins.
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| "I was hiding under your porch because I love you" - Dug |
I couldn't believe it when Happy Feet 2 came out. All I could think was, "F*** that penguin!"
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