New-school Xenophobia

I haven't posted anything on Erase Nothing in the longest time because I've been busy with Drop Your Drink and being busy there doesn't require me to think about uncomfortable things. Something has been bothering me for a while now and it's related to being a 'foreign' black person in South Africa. I say foreign with inverted commas because technically I'm South African, I've lived here for 90.9% of my life but my parents are from other countries. You might have picked up things were heading this way because of the interracial dating and identity posts I did a long while ago. This post is about being a black foreign person in South Africa and why it sucks.

Things I have to deal with:
- Black South Africans greeting me in anything but English and not only expecting me to reply in that language but also being disappointed when I don't. The common line, "I only speak English," is normally greeted with sneer or confusion.
- Knowing that certain terms like "Economic Refugee" refer to me.


Let's start with the language problem. What grates me is that it's not like this in other African countries. If English is a main official language then the first language call is English. People don't assume you speak their language just because you're black. They are 11 official languages in South Africa, 9 of which are African languages, why do you assume that I'm Zulu and greet me accordingly? I could be Venda and not know what you're saying. I say, 'Hello', and you should be able to pick up immediately that I don't quite sound right but you choose to ignore the slight accent and the fact that I'm using English then things have to get awkward.

In recent times I have witnessed a new form of xenophobia and it doesn't come from townships fed up with foreigners 'stealing' their business, possessions and livelihoods. It comes from educated professionals and students. Somehow it's okay to jokingly say things like, "You people ran away from your countries," "You've lived here for so long, why haven't you learnt anything but Afrikaans?" or "Go back to where you came from". Apparently I'm supposed to laugh at jokes like this.

Most of the time I find I just don't fit in anywhere. I'm labelled as a coconut because I speak English and learnt Afrikaans, not a black South African language. Therefore I'm not black enough, white enough, South African enough or foreign enough because I've lived here for so long. So the only option is to "go back to your country" but when you've lived here for so long you're kind of not from there anymore. South Africa might be the only home you know, and by going back you're different, kind of foreign again. What a lovely life this is. I don't know why there is such such division or why it's okay for things to be like this. I guess there is no hope, except to move to countries where it's okay to be different. Anyone heading to the UK or US? 

"Hey, I Just Met You!" Jokes

You're going to hate me because this song is going to get stuck in your head. However, I've been suffering for two hours now and you might as well burn with me. These are my favourite "Hey, I Just Met You!" jokes based on Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe hit song. If you have been living under a rock then please watch this video. It has a funny ending.

The jokes:

- Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. I took some bath salts, your face looks tasty.


- Hey, I just met you, your tan is crazy. What race are you? Carrot, maybe?


- [Darth Vader] Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But I'm your father, so join me maybe!


- Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But I'm on my period so I might eat all your bread & kill you if you 
look at me wrong. Call me, maybe?

- Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. Are you winking at me, or is your eye just lazy?


- Stalker: Hey, I just met you. 
Me: ... 
Stalker: And this is crazy. 
Me: -.- 
Stalker: I have your number... 
Me: O_O 
Stalker: I'll call you daily!


- Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But here's my name, number, social security number, Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, room number, so stalk me baby.


- Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But I'm your Fuhrer, so Heil me maybe?


The biggest joke:

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy! But here's my number, so call me maybe. 

Free Advice - Forgetting People's Names

There was a time in human existance when Hi5, Myspace and Bebo ruled the world. In that time I had an amazing sense of name and birthday recall. I could meet you once, remember your name, and tons of random facts about you. That was a time before Facebook. Two years into having a Facebook profile I found that I had lost my ability to recall people's birthdays.

Imagine this scenario: I arrived at school early and met a friend at the gate. We talked for 30 minutes then walked to class. The first set of people that saw us immediately said, "Happy Birthday [Insert Name]!". I was so horrified that I had forgotten it because I had looked at it that morning on Facebook that I stalked off  instead of going through that, "Oh my gosh [Insert Name]! I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday! Happy birthday!". My shame was so great that I didn't even wish him a happy birthday when I got home.

That was just birthdays. Now I make a point of checking to see if anyone around me is having a birthday and I write it on my hand so I don't forget. Five years into having my Facebook profile and I have discovered that I have a problem with name recollection. It's gone from a simple, "I think his name is Ben... No... Umm...Adam? Maybe, no Chester? No! I got it! It's Tom!" to "What? His name is Tarzan? I never thought that, oh, he's told me twice? Oh..."

This is what happens when I meet someone.
- Hello's are exchanged

- I give my name
- My mind temporarily switches off
- I miss the person's name
- Brain switches on
- Carry on conversation not knowing who I'm talking to


It's bad, it's really bad, so I've come up with a few methods to work around forgetting people's names (in certain situations) and a few tips to help improve name recollection.

4) You ask for a nickname
This doesn't always work but you could say, "Oh dude, don't have you a nickname that would be easier to remember?" I stopped using this tactic when a girl replied, "My name is Mary." Well, with a name of "Mary" she could have used a nickname of, "Virgin"?

3) Ask them to put their number on your phone
This requires you to hand them your phone so that they can put in the details. This works only if they want to give you a number. Otherwise you're screwed because they could give you a wrong name.

2) You have to make sure you have friends with you for the rest of your life
You meet someone when you're with a friend and you've forgotten that person's name. At first you will momentarily panic because you might have to do one-sided introductions or perhaps not introduce them at all. Now you can approach this in three different ways: 
- Use "Ah! Everyone is friends here! You guys introduce yourselves!"
- Duck and run away
- Warn your friend that you have forgotten that person's name and ask them to introduce themselves

This only works if you have kind, understanding friends. You get friends that would want you to burn because you have forgotten names.

1) You could actually try remembering their names
This is done in a few steps:
- Try your best to pay attention to their name. In other words, actually listen, instead of just hearing it
- Repeat their name a few times while carrying on the conversation
- Add them on Facebook or BBM

The last step is important because I'd like to believe the first two work but they don't in my case. The third step is just the final safety method. I do still wake up in the mornings and say, "Who the f is this?" before I remember.

Free Advice - So You're a Facebook Stalker

Mark Zuckerberg and friends, that they always fail to mention, gave us many things when they launched Facebook in 2004. They gave us one of the world's most recognised websites, the ability to remember people's birthdays, be tagged in horrendous photos and facestalking capabilities.
You facestalk.
It is the the mindless activity that has you going through Facebook profiles while looking at photos, status updates, wall posts, links and random comments.You can Facestalk all sorts of people: friends, people you don't know, your mom and yourself.

Become a better facestalker. A better facestalker in the sense that you will be skilled at covering your tracks. There is nothing more disconcerting than someone accidentally hinting that they were facestalking you. The feeling could be compared to being stabbed in the butt by the serial butt stabber in northern Virginia. Pay attention, this information could save you from being a total freak and having no friends to facestalk - yes, it can reach that point, statistics indicate that 1 in 2 people* will end up this way.  

*99% of statistics are made up on the spot.

4. Don't like anything!

Mistake: You were on a friend's profile and you liked a profile picture from months/years ago. There is no way you could use the, "It was on my news feed" excuse, and you've evidently shown yourself as a facestalker. 

Repercussions: Your victim just felt like they've been pinched by the butt stabber, you.

Plan of action: Don't unlike the photo! It makes things worse because then your victim is certain they have been stalked and you're trying to cover it up. There is no way to move forward in this except to ignore it and never keep your mouse cursor by the like button.

3. Don't refer to anything you haven't spoken about!

Mistake: This one requires an example dialogue.

You: "Do you still support Chelsea?"

[Victim's eyes enlarge and facial expression settles into a mask of controlled panic]

Victim: "No...  I stopped supporting them after Mourinho buggered off in 2007. I support Man United now. Wait, how did you know that?"

Repercussions: Your victim's pants have a hole and there is a mild scratch because of your prowess with wielding the butt stabbing knife.

Plan of action: Pretend a friend told you. Oh! The victim doesn't have any friends you know? Then run, and never make this mistake again. 

2. Don't drink around facestalked victims

Mistake: You facestalked a friend's friend's friend and now you're drunk (and feeling confident, cause you're the shit) and you think you know them. So you decide to go greet them with a hug and "Hi [insert name], how are you?"

Repercussions: Your victim is going to press charges for assault, intimidation and harassment. 

Plan of action: This shouldn't have happened in the first place. Why did you friends let you go and say hi? Oh wait, you don't have any friends anymore. You could try not drinking at all?

1. Don't Facestalk

You didn't consider this?

If not possible repeat instructions 2-4. 

Salted Butter Caramel Macarons

I was bored and inspired this afternoon. I was bored because I simply love to procrastinate and at that point I was procrastinating my procrastination time. I felt inspired because one of my friends baked the most delicious looking brownies this week and I discovered Salted Butter Caramel Macarons at Isabellas for R10 each and that made me angry because they were so expensive. I guess I had the right state of mind to make something cool, so I decided to try making Salted Butter Caramel Macarons. I did a lot of research before the time to find an easy recipe. I also checked many websites on common mistakes made because this was going to be my first time attempting them. The recipes I settled on for the basic Macaron shell and filling came from a blog called "You can do it... at home".

I'm not going to copy out the recipe because she has written it out so well and it has informative pictures. I will be using this recipe for Macarons in the future because I mostly got them right the first time. I didn't follow the Salted Butter Caramel Macaron recipe but only used the filling instructions from there.

Basic French Macaron shell recipe (read this as it's best for beginners): http://youcandoitathome.blogspot.com/2010/11/basic-macaron-recipe-french-meringue.html
Salted Butter Caramel Macarons: http://youcandoitathome.blogspot.com/2011/03/salted-caramel-macarons-me-against.html

White Boy Problems

This video made me laugh so much! Some problems are so stupid but they look so serious!

I Hate Happy Feet

F*** that penguin!

I hate Happy Feet.
You do know that movie right?
The one with that dancing penguin?
Yes, I hate that movie.

There is no amount of sugar-coated coaxing or reasonable logic that will make me even remotely okay with it and that penguin. I thought the movie was a waste of my life. I'll try and explain why Happy Feet angered me so much.

The plot is about a penguin that is born to the best penguin singers and it can't sing but it can dance. It gets all the other penguins to dance and humans realise that global warming is a problem. The end. It's like Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer all over again except that the world doesn't get presents and there's fish!

Things I hated about Happy Feet:

• Why couldn't the penguin sing like everyone else? One of the main themes of the movie is that it's good to be different but in this case it made me angry because I had to endure stupid dancing.
• Why did they have to tap dance? 
• Why didn't the scary animals trying to eat that penguin succeed? 
• Why was that movie so long? 
• Why did I stay and waste my life for it? 

I compiled a list of things I should have done instead of watching it:

• I could have done a running-hug, slipped and broken my ankle
• Gone to the gynecologist
• Given myself paper cuts between my fingers and toes (Jackass Style)
• Watched Verimark adverts
• Rolled myself down a grassy hill and itched later
• Gone to Antarctica and massacred all the penguins

Happy Feet cost me dearly. Not only did it cost me bits of my life, as we have discussed, but it made me extremely wary of animations. This was something only the movie Up could restore in some manner. It took this scene from Up to make it okay to occasionally watch animations without penguins.

"I was hiding under your porch because I love you" - Dug

I couldn't believe it when Happy Feet 2 came out. All I could think was, "F*** that penguin!"

Your Dystopian Future - 3 Reasons Why You Need a Bunker

Your world will inevitably end, just like mine will one day. Being aware of this fact, having an overactive imagination and a propensity to procrastinate I have developed an idea of a rather dystopian future that our generation might have to live through when we're just about ready to enjoy our retirement funds.
In simple English, I think about how the world is going to go to shits. I enjoy small luxuries like listening to Dubstep, enjoying clean drinkable water, not being possessed by an insatiable need to eat other peoples' brains and limiting my exposure to ionizing radiation.
All this makes me think about how I need to start saving up for a bunker.
Yes, you read right, a bunker. You should consider building towards one as well because I might not let you stay in mine. I'm going to give you a glimpse into the mind of a pioneering genius, yes that's me, and the reasons why I think we might inevitably require one.


3. Zombie Apocalypse

There are different types of zombie apocalypse causes. A few include getting nasty neurotoxins injected into your brain, infection from a brain virus or a slight problem with fungi that controls your brain.

It would be common sense to stay as far away from the zombies as possible because you might get whatever they have. I don't think that being sprayed by chunks of rotten flesh, as you fight them off, would do you any good. Zombies would eventually die out once their food source disappeared. Staying in a bunker means you likely won't have to shoot your zombified best friend's face in or use a flame-thrower on your mom while she's wearing her flannel pj's because they will be in a bunker with you. When I suggest a bunker to hide in while all the zombies die in you shouldn't say, "Oh please! I'm going to fight them like a man! Grrrrr!", you should say, "Hell yeah! Do you think we'll get DSTV down there? When can we go pretend that we're Will Smith in I Am Legend?"

2. Mother Nature

Mother Nature hates us. Here are a few reasons why I say this:

• Moose in the USA attempt to hijack cars by conducting windshield smashes
• Baboons in South Africa succeed in hijacking cars by opening car doors
• Spiders
• 1% of the world's water can be used for human uses
• Lions and Cheetahs are allowed to roam the streets in South Africa and terrorize a specific specie of blue Bulls
• The ice on Mount Kilimanjaro is melting at a rate fast enough that I'll never be able to summit the mountain in time to see the ice. The ice will be gone by 2020, yes I'm kind of lazy.   

So we've established that Mother Nature hates us. Add on the fact that we pump toxins into rivers, dump sewerage into the oceans, let our trash collect in whirlpools and pump carbon dioxide and methane into the atmosphere and we're looking at a case of young Gohan vs Frieza, we all know that Goku had to step in finally defeat Frieza. It was never Gohan.

This is Mother Nature.

We're young Gohan and we're going to get the shit kicked out of our snotty little nose. You see the Earth has been around a lot longer than you and I and it will remain after we're buried somewhere in it or burnt to make more carbon dioxide. So when the Earth goes anal and normal weather is hurricanes and drought then you know you're going be a refugee on your own planet. As usual when resources like food and water run out then people become kind of grumpy. There will be anarchy, fire and people throwing bricks (because they always throw bricks) and you wonder what will I be doing?

Yes, I'll have one in my bunker.

The water thing is important because we like polluting it and for some stupid reason we can't really drink salty water so that eliminates 99% of our water sources. There's a guy in Texas who is buying water. He's a smart ass. I dig it, I will follow suit. I can picture humanity fighting over water. I mean it happens in The Wheel of Time with the Aiel people and that book is based on real-life events.
I'm talking total crap about The Wheel of Time but when 99.99999999999% of the world's population die out a fictional book could become a future historian's reference book.

1. Artificial Intelligence and Information
Perhaps I watched Terminator far too many times and Hal 9000 scared me senseless but I worry about things like artificial intelligence and building robots for robotic warfare.

ASIMO would be the first to crack.

Effectively all it takes is for one system to spaz out and become self-aware because we thought artificial intelligence would be a marvellous thing to program. I don't think you'd be smiling much if your top-of-the-range electrical vehicle tried to run you over while you were enjoying your morning shower. Then we have things like Google, and Google pretty much owns the Internet. They buy up dark fibre (kilometres of cable left unused after the initial Internet bubble), map the stars, enable cars to drive by themselves, own this blog, know where I live, what I look like... Wait! Help! They've found me hffrrrrrrsdfjaaaaeffffespfffffff.

So picture all that intelligence and a self-aware system and we're screwed. I don't know if military systems will be able to contain the threat and the very weapons we built to destroy each other will destroy us all. Life expectancy could drop from 80 to 10 and you're 25. Boom! Dead. Well I'll be chilling in my bunker.
I'll discuss optimal bunker placement with you in person. I have a feeling I'm being watched.

That's it! 

Do you feel enlightened? 

Are you going to save up for your bunker like you're living during the Cold War?

Yes?

My work here is done.

Kindle Joy!

The Amazon Kindle is a series of e-books. E-books, as the name suggests are electronic books. Essentially a Kindle can store a small library of books on its memory and it comes with an e-ink electronic display so that it doesn't hurt your eyes when you're reading it. In fact, you have to use a book light for the Kindle because it doesn't have a back-light, well you can either do that or wait for generation 5 of the Kindle as it will come with a built-in book light. You can read your e-books and download them off the internet by purchasing them off the Amazon book store. It's so convenient and it fuels a reading addiction.

I have massive amounts of love for my Kindle Touch. I think it's the best thing I have ever bought because it has all my books in it. It reminded me that I love to read. I suggest you translate what I wrote on the picture I made. It's an old advert for Kinder Joy, it's appropriate because I named my Kindle, Kindle Joy!


For more information on the Kindle, click here

Who Needs a Doctor When You Have Music?

Video of the week (well besides "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys, click here):

Favourite quote from the video was said by the man below. He said:
"It [Music] gives me the feeling of love, romance! I figure right now the world needs to come into music, singing. You've got beautiful music. Beautiful... Lovely... I feel [a] band of love, of dreams."

You like to tan? Do you also like skin cancer?

Cancer can hook its malignant neoplasm hooks into anyone. It's one of the world's most devastating diseases because there is no set cure. Cancer is your body turning against itself in the most awful way. My focus is skin cancer because people do not realise that skin cancer ignores race and there has been a frightening recurrence of stupid "Hey! Let me have some skin cancer on my body!" practices.

Red heads are most at risk of getting skin cancer and living their lives without their souls.

The only good thing I'll tell you in this depressing post is that most skin cancers are preventable. You should know how to prevent them by now: the use of sunscreen and refrain from tanning. 

You should know this.

I recently realised that although people should know "this", they choose to ignore it. So I put together a minor threatening guide to avoiding most skin cancers in hopes that you will remember "this" at the end. 

I will rip out your hair extensions if you go near the tanning bed

A few years ago tanning beds were all the rage. People booked many appointments at their spas. People went and bought the machines for home use. Then it came out that tanning beds are one of the prime causers of skin cancer. Oh, didn't people scramble to get rid of the machines and I truely thought that the tanning bed fiasco was over until I recently saw signs advertising tanning bed appointments. There is no supply without demand so it means that people are back in those things.

I get that you don't want to be pale and pasty but you should be protecting your body's largest organ, your skin. Rather go for tanning sprays and lotions. I don't know how safe they are, because they also edit what your skin cells are doing, but I can imagine that it would be better than the beds. If Snooki develops skin cancer then maybe we can worry about the alternative.

If the issue of being bronzed really bothers you that much then move to a country that doesn't have much sun. Go far away to places like the South and North Poles during winter where it's completely dark, oh wait... there's still an ozone hole present at one of the poles. Might I suggest you move to a coal mine? 

Sunscreen is an excuse to get a mini back rub, use it

I get laughed at when I whip out my SPF 50 sunscreen. Hang on, let me be honest. I think I might get laughed at because it makes me slightly blue*. 

Not quite like this though

Most black girls hate getting sun burnt, dig the shade, wear hats outside and will carry around sunscreen. They might do this for appearance reasons but it works all the same. I get shocked when my white friends take out SPF 15 when they want to spend a day out in the sun. When your t-shirts are SPF 8 I find myself asking what's the point of that sunscreen?

In case you didn't know, Wise Geek defines SPF as the following: "SPF is an acronym for Sun Protection Factor. The number you see associated with SPF represents the length of time you can stay out in the sun without burning, multiplied by the corresponding number. So a person who would normally start to burn in 10 minutes, could theoretically have 150 minutes of sun protection with a sunscreen that has an SPF of 15."
Most SPF 15 sunscreens last on average an hour if you're not running about or swimming. So remember to re-apply and try chill in the shade around midday, 12pm, because the sun is out to roast you then.

*Sunscreens that don't make you blue are horrendously expensive and available at Dischem.

Watch this video, it might make you cry

Oh, so you still feel like ignoring common sense. Please watch this video.

Today marks the start of the University of Pretoria's CANSA Shaveathon drive. CANSA, The Cancer Association of South Africa, hosts many events around South Africa to raise awareness about cancer, not just skin cancer. It is done to celebrate survivors and to remember those who passed away from it. The Shavathon is an event that requires you to either shave your hair off or spray paint your hair by paying R50. Go and support it. I don't mean to scare you but it could be you that has your hair fall out due to chemotherapy, I think you'd want the support. Skin cancer isn't the end of the world, however, remember to take an active step to doing something about it.

Charlie Chaplin - The Greatest Speech Ever Made

Charlie Chaplin, the man famous for comical silent movies, made the most inspiring speech I will ever hear in my life. Watch the Youtube video, the person who posted it cleverly put relevant videos and pictures in the background.

Toxic Friendships and Reasons Why We Drink Gallons of Chemical X

You will at one point or another experience a toxic friendship. I'm not referring to that friend that might make use of association and so-called peer pressure to lead you to drugs or something because you should know better. You might not even consider the person I am talking about because this person could be your best friend and for better or worse you're obsessed and depressed with each other, as Maroon 5 put it. This is another one of those unpleasant articles that took me forever to write because I found it uncomfortable to think about. It will be a difficult read if you're going through something similar. If you feel like you don't want to hear the whys, hows and hardships then rather check the article with pictures of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cupcakes I made (click here) it's much nicer than this. [Insert big cyber hug] to the friend that motivated me to finish this so that I could tell you things will be okay eventually and I'm here for you.

If you can see under the heart you might catch a glimpse of the horror that was supposed to make up the original article.
Oh? You can't? Too bad! You're getting the edit.

I'm going to call your friend "Person X", like "Chemical X" but not quite. You were fast friends in the beginning of your friendship. There wasn't a "I just think that we are going to be friends" moment when you met; you never realised that person was going to be in your life for a long time, you just started to live accordingly. Person X subsequently becomes your best friend.

If you happen to glance back at your friendship you'll find that it was composed of really good times and some painfully horrible moments. Whenever you cried because of Chemical X, sorry Person X, you felt your friendship mutate. You always tried to sort things out and would put up with a lot of "radiation". According to Adele, whenever you thought about leaving you'd feel your heart burst and bleed and you'd repeat like a broken tune to forever excuse their intentions. You'd live for the good times and hope that one day Person X = Person Considerate or even just Person Realise When You're Hurting Me.

You can stop here if you want because I'm going to generalise.
You will either:
a) Go onto dating Person X and then marry Person X, if you can.
b) Make a choice to leave and stick with it.
c) Let time and/or distance take its course and fade out of the friendship.

I will not bother with people who do a) because they chose the easy way out. They chose a future filled with cycles of continual hurt and an unhealthy obsession. They block off friends because they radiate bad energy with the same constant sadness and anger. They change for the worse, perhaps into Mojo Jojo, and Person X stays the same. They never thought to work for the change they long for.

Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together in 2012. I took that information like a punch to the eye. 

I like c) but my focus is on b). You decide to leave after much thought - do not make an angry decision - and have gotten past the stage of the connecting your head knowledge to your heart. You will be unprepared for the sadness that precedes your leaving announcement. You tell Person X and a crushing wave of sadness, anger and wanting to go back will hit you all at once. The sadness was already present and amplifies. The anger presents itself because you will be angry at yourself for taking so long to leave.
This probably takes a week to subside if you:
- Allow yourself to feel the range emotions (don't pretend you're not hurt when you clearly are)
- Write down lists of why you wouldn't go back and keep re-reading them
- Go cold turkey on Person X and annihilate contact with them (yes, annihilate, social networks and     cellphone numbers are included)
- Sad pop music, yes, it's that sad (here's a playlist)

The bottom line is change is hard. Things will get better and you can hold onto that while things are not okay. As time passes you'll still think of them occasionally, most of the sadness will be gone and you'll have come to peace with yourself. You will start to experience relief at not repeating the motions over and over again.

I say go forth and meet new people. There are 3 billion other people in the world (3 billion = 7 billion - kids and old people), Person X isn't the only person you will click with. It will be hard to meet people in the beginning but keep trying.
You will both change. Perhaps you leaving is the wake-up call Person X needed to change but don't leave with the intention of getting them to do things differently so that you can come running back. I hope you've left because you're taking a stand for your happiness and a stand against bad treatment. Do you realise that you can never be mistreated after this? This will probably be the one of the hardest things you will have to do in your life because this "break-up" ranks pretty high on the scale of "1 to Adele". One day you'll look at Person X as just somebody that you used to know and everything will finally be alright.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Cupcakes

I was inspired by something I saw on Pinterest and I was feeling a bit adventurous today so I went on a hunt for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and made cupcakes out of them.

What did I use:

- Cake mix

- Eggs

- Butter

- Milk

- Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

- Reese's Peanut Butter Chips

- Icing sugar

- Cocoa powder

- Peanut butter

Quick breakdown of what I did:

- I used cake mix instead of making the cupcake mixture from scratch. This Reese's Peanut Butter cupcake adventure was a procrastination cooking session and it meant I didn't have enough time to make a cupcake mixture from scratch as I usually do; I was supposed to be studying. Even so, I used milk and butter in place of the water and oil that the cake mix instructions requested.

- With the mix ready I spooned a tablespoon into each cupcake holder and then added the quarters of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups as well as the Reese's Peanut Butter Chips.

- I covered the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Reese's Peanut Butter Chips with another spoonful of cake mix.

- They went into the oven and I made two icings, a chocolate one and a peanut butter one and layered them in the piping bag.

- After they were done cooling I did simple icing. 

- I think I might try this with Lindt Lindor truffles next.

Shit Girls Say to Gay Guys

I'm on a bit of a craze with these "Shit Girls Say to" videos and I found this one a while back so I thought I might as well post it. Again a lot of it's true and I laugh so hard because I have to keep a lot of these comments inside instead of saying them to my gay guy friends. I totally think them though, that's why it's so funny.

Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls (Part 1 and 2)

These videos make me laugh every single time I watch them because they are true. I think I've heard about 90% of the comments. It's not racist, it's just true. It happens because we live in a multi-racial society. 

Soundtracks to Your Life - Getting Over Someone

One of my friends is doing an article about songs you should bang to. Regularly check http://d-is-for-danger.blogspot.com/ for the list, I'll let you know when he does eventually finish that nasty mess. I do hope that Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites by Skrillex makes it onto that list.

I call this list of songs that tackle different stages of a break-up the product of uncanny timing, what with the bang chart inspiration and going through my own sort of break-up. I also went to try and find out what the break-up stages were and then I added in my own bits. Hey! You might need this list soon cause break-up season appears in June/July then again in September. I did focus on a lot of mainstream music so you should know most of the songs.

Realisation

This only applies if you're the one who's leaving. In this stage you've had enough and have thought about it for a while, it's not a spontaneous decision. The decision process probably looks like this, click here.While you were thinking you were probably listening to certain types of songs. I have found that British artists rock at realisation. Adele*, of course, belts out a few because she had a difficult relationship with her boyfriend who in the end broke her heart and made her gloriously rich. My favourite song is Melt My Heart To Stone by Adele even though Turning Tables and Tired come in a close second and third. Melt My Heart to Stone doesn't make sense in terms of present day furnace calculations but the the song makes sense. Kate Nash puts out Foundations about crap times she's obviously had and Coldplay takes a piece of the cake with X&Y. Erykah Badu is the only artist that doesn't fit in the Brit category, listen to Call Tyrone for a good laugh at an angry black woman. 

"Each and every time I turn around to leave I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed"

Sadness

Person: When I'm sad I try to sing along to songs. Then I shut up and realise that there are worse things than my sucky life.
Adele: I don't get it.

So you've broken up with your significant other and you're crushed. It doesn't matter whether you were the dumper or the dumped one. You can still be a sad, lonely loser. You'll go through turbulent emotions, being normal is your high of the day and your lows are depressed lows. Never fear, things might not be okay now, but things will get better. In the meanwhile I suggest you listen to Maroon 5. They have a range of beautiful songs dedicated to heartbreak. Most of them are found in their It Won't Be Soon Before Long album; I didn't really like Hands All Over because it sounded a little too country to me. However, my favourite track is Just a Feeling from Hands All Over. Weird how these things happen. Better That We Break, also by Maroon 5, is second and it's from It Won't Be Soon Before Long. It's Over by the Cheetah Girls, don't laugh at the artist, is also good. No one can doubt the power of ballads so All by Myself by Shirley Bassy and Tears Dry on their Own by Amy Winehouse are perfect fits.

"This is more than goodbye, when I look into your eyes you're not even there"

Angry
You eventually get tired of feeling sad and start to realise that you're better off without that person. People get angry because they forget to forgive. I don't recommend listening to anyone of these songs when you are angry. They are just angry songs. Internet Friends by Knife Party is a really cool song with an epic beat about some angry British Girl who wants to kill you because you blocked her on Facebook. Breaking Dishes by Rihanna is about roasting marshmellows on your car's burning tyres and bleaching your clothes. Both are really angry dance songs. For the purpose of quietly meditating and plotting a psychopathic attack then I suggest you listen to Dickhead by Kate Nash and I Learned From the Best by Whitney Houston. If your planned attack on the person fails then you can listen to Why Won't You Die by System of a Down.

"You blocked me on Facebook and now you're going to die"

Acceptance
You eventually get over minor plots of revenge, being angry at the person and at yourself. You realise it is just wasting your time and it's better to forgive and move on. You might even apologise to the person for your behaviour during the relationship because you'll be able to think in an unbiased manner. If you feel like saying, "You're a sorry excuse for a ..." then you're probably still angry and you've got a while to go. Songs that remind you that you've broken up with someone but don't make you sad or angry anymore are Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye Feat. Kimbra and Sober by Kelly Clarkson. Instead of being angry, you can remember the good and the bad times for what they were and move on.

"Now you're just somebody that I used to know"

Then you'll meet somebody else, sometimes even if you were married, and repeat the cycle. 

Good luck!

*The people who hate on Adele and complain about her music have not only managed to deafen themselves to one our generation's most astounding singers but have also failed to comprehend the depth of her song-writing ability. When you're alone and lost, listen to Adele because she'll help you realise that you're not alone. She manages to reach down into your soul and pluck your heart strings.

Urban Outfitters Crush Contest - Favourite Videos

Urban Outfitters, this awesome chain of stores in the USA and some European countries, had this really cute crush competition. All you had to do was create a short video showing why you're crushing hard on that local barista, on that dress your roommate got from a thrift store but never wears or that actress, you know, the one from that one show that got cancelled in 2003. The prize was a trip for two to Hawaii. These videos were my favourites. The first one is really cute and sincere. The second is about a love for polaroids and is beautiful and the last one is funny.

Awkward Crying Moments

I was listening to the Grant and Anele Show a while back and they were talking about songs that managed to make people cry. There were not referring to typical tear-inducing songs. In fact, one lady phoned to say:

• She had lost her job
• She was quite saddened by her jobless state
• She turned on the radio and heard, "I Need a Dollar by" Aloe Blacc
• She cried

I found this extremely funny and spent a good while laughing about it in my car and then carried on laughing when I got home. It was a bit mean but I laughed because I understood. I've also had one of those moments when you cry about something that shouldn't make you cry. So I started asking around to find out if this has happened to anyone else. I went beyond music to include anything. I'll start with my experience first then list the other ones.

Lilo and Stitch 2: Stitch has a Glitch 
I realise it is an animation that is supposed to be cute and stupid. I watched this about five years ago while eating dinner with my family. At the time I was going through a rough friendship patch. In this movie Stitch (the blue thing) starts malfunctioning as there is something wrong in his alien bio-robot body. When he malfunctions he breaks things, hurts people and can't control himself.

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It reaches the point when Stitch scratches Lilo at her hawaiian dance recital then he proceeds to wreck her special day. Then Lilo leaves because she's had enough.

"Hay...You still mad?"
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That scene was what set me off. I actually cried into my dinner, much to the shock of my family. They didn't know what to do. I laugh now but it was bad.

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I calmed down for a bit, that level consisted of heavy breathing and wiping my eyes, then Stitch died! And I was off crying again. I left the room after that. Well you know it is a kid's movie so of course they brought a machine to fix him in time and he lived.

Chocolate Mousse
Ashleigh: " I cried once when I came home to find the family all had chocolate mousse for dessert and didn't leave any for me. It was a tough day."

Honey and 21st Speeches
Lisa: "I always cry during 21st speeches. And I always cry at the end dance sequence of Honey."

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Snails
Margaret: "Snails. Every time. I've convinced myself that they will and can attack me!"

Need for Speed Undercover
Sumesha: "When I finished Need for Speed Undercover I cried because it was so hard and also because I had no other game to play."

This game induces tears
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MTV
Anonymous: "I was watching those two guys on MTV's ad breaks, the South African guys who do short skits, and they pranked Arno Carstens. I cried (after laughing)."

Photo available here

I guess we all have our days. You can share additional stories in the comments if you want to. Otherwise hope this made you laugh!

Y U NO Hooking-Up? Go Suck On Something!

You either survive parties when you are young and carefree or fail miserably. There is middle-ground when you have some okay nights. Nights starting with, "So I was with my cousins and we went to the movies" or "I spent the entire night watching TV and it was fun" somehow fail to get mentioned. The way you party is developed in your teens. It is largely based on stories you've heard from older people, your friends and what you see on TV. This party attitude normally stresses that a good night consists of: drinking, dancing and hooking-up. We know what drinking entails, dance is not a new thing but this brings me to hooking-up. Hooking-up will be looked at from a heterosexual perspective but it's relevant to everyone.

The term "hook-up" is ambiguous, perhaps purposefully, because people attach different definitions to it.

It refers to a), b), c) and d) - see the figure below to understand - with someone you're not dating and don't expect to. It can be a once-off experience or a long-term situation. It might be with a friend, as in the case of friends with benefits, or a complete stranger. It normally happens under the influence of alcohol because of beer goggles and lowered moral standards.

Hooking-up serves to fill a gap of sorts. You can pretend that you're not lonely and don't want to date anyone by simply having a really good friend from the opposite sex and hooking up with other guys. It's essentially the best of both worlds because you have physical and emotional needs covered. It makes you feel wanted and there is a sense of freedom because you can choose who you connect with. It becomes part of your party attitude once you engage in it and you can almost get a high from the acts of hooking-up with someone, as in, if it doesn't happen then your night was "okay" not "great".

The general belief of why people hook-up is based on self-esteem issues. The explanation is simply that the hook-up is a way to get any type of sub-standard attention from someone else. It's almost like instead of training to win a marathon and get the huge trophy, you go into a trophy shop, find out that all the cool trophies are gone, purchase one of those small kiddy ones and you're satisfied with it. The satisfaction is linked to side-stepping loneliness. That's dangerous because being alone doesn't equal being lonely. When you're constantly hooking-up you never learn how to differentiate the two. One day you will make the mistake of marrying someone you don't particularly care for.

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Don't shoot me for putting them here. They weren't happy.

Hooking-up with friends can be a complete disaster! One miscalculated kiss can lead to the destruction of years of a friendship. This normally happens because one party wants more and the other doesn't want anything. Don't hook up with your best friends. The only time you will perhaps move past that mistake is if they are a bad kisser. No one wants to date a bad kisser.

Friends with benefits i.e. a long-term hook-up with a friend rarely works. The guy will carry on hooking-up with other people, because they're not exclusive and the girl will become more and more attached and want to be more than "just friends". It's a case of walking in opposite directions.
What a fail.
Friends with benefits only works on one condition. If the girl was the initiator. She normally knows exactly what she wants, can be identified as being a bit of a bad-ass and appears to think like a guy at most times. You just have to hope that the guy doesn't act like the stereotypical "friends with benefits girl" and you win.

Aside from the risks associated with losing your reputation and causing any potentially amazing boys to avoid you, you totally know that you can pick up some nasty shit. We've been drilled for ±10 years about STDs. We are the generation that should know the most about prevention measures but it is worrying when you discover that educated youths fall into the high risk category for HIV, based on the rate of new infections.
You know better. You do.
It might be because being inebriated, even sometimes drugging yourself, play such a prominent role in parties and in hooking-up that people shut off that long-term memory voice that screams at them to stop and be safe. HIV is an extreme case. Minor ones are Mono and Oral Herpes (shudder, check out that link). Gross, gross, gross.

Weirdly enough,  more people hook-up but more people are staying virgins. I guess in this time they give up other things like their "be-hymen*" in order to stay virgins (extreme case). This might be caused by a sub-culture of holding on until marriage or waiting for a worthwhile long-term relationship.

Hooking-up with a guy isn't everything. There's spending time with good friends, dancing the night away, holding onto your reputation and meeting new people that far outweigh it. Valentine's Day is coming up and all the people who haven't quickly rushed into relationships or have maintained one for a while will be looking at hooking-up. Rather spend your time with friends or improving yourself so when you meet that person, THE person that could be in your life for a chapter or books of it, you will be ready for him. Hooking-up with that guy will totally blow your socks off.

*Lissa, from Awkward. said that Jake could take her be-hymen then lay face down on the bed

"Anti-Nigga" Girls and Interracial Dating

One statement I heard recently from a black girl was, "I'm an anti-nigga kind of girl." I laughed but I began to wonder how many more girls have already zoned themselves without declaring it. Mixed schools + Angry African dads + Class division = A generation of black girls who don't want to date black guys. I thought it might be a good idea to explore why this is happening and why interracial couples are still not the norm. If you're already feeling uncomfortable or have a feeling that you will take offense then I suggest you stop reading, look at the cool picture and leave.

Back in the day, The-Days-That-Should-Not-Be-Named-Because-People-Immediately-Get-Tense, schools weren't mixed. You rarely got to interact with people from a different race unless you were working with or for them. "Anti-nigga" girls didn't exist because you would stick to the "norm" in terms of dating and marriage. Then Apartheid -yes, I said it - ended and schools slowly began to change. I mentioned the influence of school first because it is probably the most important factor when trying to see why the generation of "anti-nigga" girls exist.

Going to a good school in the early 90s meant moving to a white school. A minority of black parents were able to send their children to these schools. These children were the children of parents who had saved lots of money, for a very long time or were from other African countries. You know these children. The educated young adults that don't exactly sound black. They grew up surrounded by a lot of white children and very few black children. Understand that preference is developed by levels of exposure. Continuous exposure means certain things become the norm for you. If the minority children of the 90s had stayed in black schools then perhaps there wouldn't be such a big group of people that are okay with the idea of interracial dating. These minority children were friends with other black children. You wonder why do "anti-nigga" girls exist then? There are quite a few reasons but I believe it might be due to family dynamics and Neo-Apartheid.

[Generalisation coming up!] Women either marry men who are like their fathers or someone completely different. Guys do the same but use their mothers as reference. Now observe, the minority children are going to white schools. They are best friends with children that have white parents, seemingly more liberal than their parents. Animosity builds up because the minority children have strict black parents, the anger is directed at the fathers and that means crap relationships with their fathers. Daddy issues develop over time and BOOM girls don't want to date anyone like their fathers, so sorry black guys. It is judgmental, unfair and dangerous (I'll explain why later). You might get lucky and find a decent black guy, who had great parents and learnt some epic "how to behave" skills. You might also find that he's already taken.
Now onto the topic of Neo-Apartheid, class division. Class is determined by how much money you have. You will generally date within your "class". The minority children that were able to go to good schools from a young age were separated from the lower classes a very long time ago. The only experience black girls have of lower class men is cat-calls, shouted promises of marriage, awkward grabs, rude comments and fear. This just serves to turn them further away from the idea of dating black guys because they feel uncomfortable when any black guy is trying to court them.

Movies like Something New, Guess Who and Save the Last Dance give hope to the generation looking for an interracial relationship. The only reason they need hope is because while growing up people made you realise that what you prefer is not wrong, but not really right. Growing up and not being aware of colour is a life experience that many miss out on. Small comments, witnessing minor reactions  and experiencing racism slowly colour in the characters of your colouring book. Before the scenery was coloured in and the little people playing in the scenes were not but over time you pick up a white crayon or a brown one or even perhaps a yellow one and start to fill in the blanks. The young adults of today are supposed to be the generation free of racial divides, however while there might not be physical boundaries there are mental ones. This brings me to the judgement.

Depending on where you live people will react to seeing an interracial couple. Areas largely free from judgement are the so-called "new" South Africa. I don't suggest you get married to someone from a different race in Orania, Northern Cape, rather go to Cape Town.

If you're in an area where interracial couples aren't common, or even still frowned upon, then people will react by staring. You will get four types of looks: the envious glance from people who want what you have; the shocked gawk: "Oh my gosh! That black girl is kissing that white guy on the cheek! Are they dating?"; the disgusted glower from people who are stuck in the past; and the look of pity from those who understand your judgement. You only have to look as far as recent news to see that the stares and comments will continue for a very long time.

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Above is a poster made by the DA Student Organisation. The country went crazy! Most of the reactions were in support but a large amount of racist comments popped up. People need to get over themselves.

You might meet someone at these places but make sure you want to date them for the right reasons. Don't date a black girl, just because she's black. Don't date a white guy, just because he's white. You might be attracted to something but getting to know that person should determine whether or not you want to take it further. That's common sense. If you don't know who you are and what you want you might fall into a trap (the bit about danger). Some people are 'adventurous' because they want to experiment with stereotypes. Apparently black people are good in the sack. Then you have to deal with uncomfortable feelings because you're wanted but in a derogatory way. I often wonder why such old white guys are dating such young black girls. I would also suggest that you stay away from the creepy old Afrikaans guys.

So in conclusion, "anti-nigga girls" exist. You were made by society. You have a preference but I am adamant that you should open your eyes and stop seeing colour, stop seeing black and saying no, stop seeing white or indian or south-east asian and saying yes all the time. I hope you will be lucky enough to find someone who sees beyond colour or even sees your colour and loves it for the right reasons. The same applies to everyone else. You might miss out on the love of your life because they didn't look like what you're used to. 

The Process of Leaving Someone

The process of leaving someone that makes you unhappy:

- Anger (head knowledge - decide that you will move on, little issues bother you and there is no common ground)

- Sadness (head knowledge becomes heart knowledge - realise what leaving means and think about the good days)

- Acceptance (two options - stay and repeat the cycle or realise that you might not be okay now but you will be one day and leave)

Things that help:

- Good advice, not just friends listening to you in the anger phase

- Expressing it (see below, currently in stage 2&3)

- Music